Everything You Need to Know About Domestic Couple Employment in the UK

What is a Domestic Couple and Why is the UK Known For Them?

Domestic couples play a crucial role in managing households, especially in high-net-worth (HNW) and ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW) households. These couples are often provided with accommodation and are highly valued for their ability to handle a diverse range of tasks efficiently, offering personalised and comprehensive service to their employers.

The UK and London in particular remains a key hub for high-net-worth individuals and ultra-high-net-worth individuals, thanks to its historical significance as a financial centre and its appeal to global elites. In 2023, the UK hosted around 4,750 UHNWIs, each with a net worth exceeding $30 million, placing it among the cities with the highest concentration of ultra-wealthy individuals globally. This segment, while small in number, controls a significant portion of the total wealth held by the broader HNWI population. This concentration of wealth, driven by both traditional landowners and an influx of new multimillionaires attracted to the UK's vibrant economy and cultural offerings, explains the high demand for domestic couples in the UK. These households require sophisticated, personalised management, which experienced domestic couples are uniquely positioned to provide (Fifty) (Altrata) (Capgemini).

 

The Different Types Of Work Domestic Couples Do

Housekeeping

Housekeeping is central to domestic couple roles, ensuring a well-maintained and smoothly running home. Daily tasks typically include making beds, vacuuming, dusting, and general tidying. In more formal households, additional responsibilities may involve specialised care for delicate fabrics and haute couture, sometimes requiring the expertise of dedicated laundresses or wardrobe managers to handle these items with precision.

Seasonal and monthly deep cleaning tasks, such as polishing brass, cleaning windows, and thorough dusting, are also crucial to maintaining the home’s appearance and functionality. These tasks are often prioritised when the principals are away or during quieter periods, ensuring the home is kept in pristine condition.

Some domestic couples may act as head housekeepers and butlers or estate managers, in which case they will oversee other staff members, often including daily live-out housekeepers. This supervisory role involves coordinating tasks, managing schedules, and ensuring that all aspects of the household are running smoothly, further demonstrating the versatility and importance of domestic couples in a household setting.

 

Cooking (Sometimes)

Cooking responsibilities for domestic couples can vary widely, depending on the specific needs and preferences of the household. Some domestic couple jobs don’t include cooking at all, while others require varying levels of culinary expertise. In some positions, you may only need to assist with basic meal preparation, whereas others might require you to prepare a range of meals, from everyday family dishes to formal dinner service for guests.

For those couples who are responsible for cooking, it’s wise to complete a Food Hygiene course in the UK. These courses not only enhance your CV but also demonstrate your commitment to maintaining high standards in the kitchen. Furthermore, cooking can often be the most challenging task for domestic staff, as taste preferences are highly subjective. It’s important to be open about your culinary skills during the interview process and to clearly understand the level of expertise the household requires.

In some UK households, there are live-in chefs who handle most of the cooking, leaving domestic couples responsible for family-style meals only when the chef is away. In more informal homes, or those with children, cooking duties may include preparing simple meals specifically for the little ones. Every household is different, and the expectations can vary significantly, so clear communication is key to ensuring both parties are satisfied with the arrangement.

 

Looking After Animals

Animal care is often an essential part of working as a domestic couple, particularly on larger estates. Responsibilities typically include walking and feeding dogs, but may also extend to other animals such as alpacas, chickens, and horses. Couples employed on larger properties may need to provide comprehensive care for these animals, ensuring their health and wellbeing. In some live-in couple jobs, one partner might be expected to have specific skills, such as experience in handling horses or working as a groom. These roles require a genuine passion for animals, along with the ability to manage their daily care routines efficiently and attentively.

 

Driving

close-up of smartly dressed man driving a luxury car

Driving duties are a common responsibility for domestic couples, with almost all positions requiring at least one partner to have a full, clean UK driving licence. In many roles, especially those in city settings, driving can be a primary responsibility, often performed by the male partner in a husband-and-wife team. This is particularly true for jobs in London, where households in areas like Mayfair, Chelsea, and Knightsbridge may have dedicated drivers who are part of the domestic couple team.

If you are driving in London, you will most likely be responsible for operating high-end luxury vehicles such as Mercedes, BMWs, Bentleys, Range Rovers, and Rolls-Royces. Advertisements for these roles typically specify the types of vehicles you'll be required to drive, and candidates are expected to dress the part, maintaining a professional appearance that reflects the prestige of the position. Additionally, part of your role as a driver will include ensuring that the vehicles are immaculate at all times and arranging for regular servicing and maintenance.

In family homes, driving duties often include school runs, airport transfers, and other errands, ensuring that the household's transportation needs are met efficiently. In country estates, some domestic couple roles include a car for personal use as part of the employment package, offering added convenience for the couple.

It's important for domestic couples to be aware of the specific driving requirements of the position they are applying for and to discuss these expectations during the interview process. Understanding the driving duties involved and being comfortable with them is crucial, as they can be a significant part of the job.

 

Varying Levels of Gardening

Kirsten standing next to flower boxes and the gardens at Allington castle in Kent 

Gardening is a common responsibility for domestic couples, with roles ranging from head gardeners to groundskeepers and general garden maintenance. Some couples hold formal qualifications, while others rely on practical experience. Having RHS qualifications and chainsaw licenses is particularly advantageous for those working on country estates, as these skills are highly valued for managing extensive gardens and landscapes. In urban settings, city-based domestic couples may be required to tend to smaller gardens or even maintain seasonal window box displays, particularly in areas like Mayfair, Knightsbridge, and Chelsea in London's West End. 

Whether managing a sprawling estate or a small urban garden, the ability to maintain beautiful and well-kept outdoor spaces is a valued skill in domestic couple positions. The role may require anything from planting and pruning to pest control and lawn care, demanding both practical knowledge and creativity. Understanding the specific needs of each household is essential, as garden styles and expectations can vary widely.

 

What Do Live-in Domestic Couples Earn?

The salary range for a domestic couple in the UK varies depending on several factors, including experience, roles, and location. Most employers offer salaries that surpass the national average. As of 2023, in a full-time permanent position, the typical salary for a domestic couple falls between £50,000 and £100,000 per year, combined. Additionally, these positions come with accommodation included, which can lead to considerable savings on housing costs. We discuss accommodation further down the page.

 

The Difference Between Working in Formal Households Versus Informal Households

 

Formal Households

While the degree of formality in formal households can vary significantly, some may only require a high level of formality during events or when entertaining guests. Therefore, it is crucial not to assume that formal procedures, like silver service, will be the everyday norm. It is essential to fully understand the specific level of formality expected and whether the principals require a domestic couple with butler and silver service training. Additionally, some formal households, while maintaining high standards, are open to training staff to meet their service expectations. This flexibility can be a key consideration when deciding if the role is the right fit.

Uniforms

In formal households, appearance is critical. Domestic couples are often required to wear specific uniforms depending on their duties. For instance, you may be referred to as the butlers and may wear a suit and tie, while housekeepers might have a formal uniform. This dress code ensures a polished and professional appearance at all times, reflecting the household's high standards.

Silver Service

Silver service is a hallmark of very formal households, where meals are served with a high level of precision and ceremony. This traditional method involves serving food from the left side of the guest using a silver spoon and fork, with servers dressed in formal attire. In some households, silver service is expected for every meal, requiring a meticulous approach and a deep understanding of formal dining etiquette.

Haute Couture and Delicate Fabric Care

In many formal households, caring for haute couture and delicate fabrics is an essential responsibility. Domestic couples may be required to handle luxury garments with the utmost care, sometimes under the supervision of or in coordination with dedicated wardrobe managers or laundresses. This task demands specialised knowledge of fabric care to maintain the quality and longevity of these items.

 

Informal Households

Casual Attire

In informal households, the dress code is generally more relaxed. Uniforms may not be required, and domestic couples might dress in more casual or practical attire suited to their daily tasks. The focus is on functionality and comfort, with less emphasis on formal appearance.

More Relaxed Service Style

Service in informal households is typically more relaxed compared to the strict protocols of silver service. Meals might be served family-style or in a less structured manner. The atmosphere is often more casual, reflecting the informal nature of the household.

Everyday Tasks and Family Focus

Informal households often require domestic couples to manage practical, everyday tasks such as school runs, meal preparation (even if only for the kids), and general housekeeping. The environment is usually less structured, offering more flexibility in how duties are performed. For many, this type of setting is preferable, as it allows for a more personal connection with the family and a varied daily routine.

 

Conclusion - Why It's Important To Get the Level of Formality Right

Choosing between working in a formal or informal household is a significant decision that impacts your daily responsibilities, work environment, and overall job satisfaction. Each setting offers distinct experiences and requires different skills, whether it's adhering to the structured, detail-oriented demands of a formal household or embracing the flexibility and hands-on approach of an informal one. To ensure a successful and fulfilling placement, it’s crucial to clarify the level of formality expected in the role before your first interview. Understanding these expectations from the outset will help you find the right fit and avoid any misunderstandings later on.

 

Types of Live-in Accommodation for Domestic Couples

Domestic couples mostly get live-in accommodations. It's part of their job. These jobs are "live-in" and advertised as such. But this doesn't mean you live in your boss's house. Living with a family helps you understand their needs and rhythms well. Let's explain what we mean:

Supplied with your own apartment, cottage or house:

collage of outside and inside of our cottage when we worked as a domestic couple in Maidstone

This could range from a flat to a cottage. They offer both closeness to work but with some degree of privacy. Most of the jobs come with this type of accommodation. i.e. separate accommodation.

Some city jobs (less so in country jobs) come with an apartment or house near the bosses. You'll walk to work. These are rare, but they do sometime crop up on our site.

Sometimes, couples live in the main house:

In some roles, domestic couples are provided accommodation within the main house of their employer's residence, especially in affluent areas like Mayfair, Chelsea, and Knightsbridge. While these homes typically offer self-contained spaces in a basement or a separate wing, the living arrangements can vary. Couples usually have their own self-contained apartment or a separate wing, ensuring privacy. This typically includes a private bedroom, bathroom, and kitchenette, providing a clear distinction between work and personal life.

Living in the main house offers immediate access to work duties, making it ideal for roles that require frequent interaction or quick response times.

 

Is Accommodation Free?

Accommodation for domestic couples almost always comes inclusive of council tax and all utilities, eliminating another significant monthly cost for the couple.
It is important to take into consideration the savings on housing, utilities and these added perks can easily be valued at an additional £1,500 to £4,500 per month, depending on the type of accommodation and the area in the UK. The value of the accommodation supplied could much higher in areas like London where the cost of accommodation is notoriously steep.

It's also worth noting that part-time domestic couple roles do sometimes become available. In these instances, one partner is employed while the other pursues work with lower earnings elsewhere locally. On rarer occasions, job advertisements might not specify a salary outright but will instead offer free accommodation in exchange for limited work.

When considering domestic couple roles, it's essential to factor in the monetary value of the accommodation and any other included perks to gauge the true worth of the package being offered.

 

Accommodating Couples with Children and Pets

Domestic couple roles typically do not permit dependents (children or other family members) or pets. Occasionally, there are job listings that make exceptions for families or pets. We think having a stable and grounded environment, which can be enhanced by having dependents or pets, is important for the mental well-being of a couple. To help domestic couples with families and pets find relevant job opportunities more easily, we always try to tag listings that specifically allow live-in dependents and pets, so that when you search keywords 'pets' or 'dependents', hopefully those jobs will appear.